The smell of whiskey when he speaks 

Drunk again huh, Chuck?

Mom pleas for an end to this but no such luck

Because her open mouth triggers his guns and his guns are his hands 

How can he call himself a man when he can barely stand 

Boom. One. She's down on the floor

Unable to move her face is swollen and red

I was a young child so I checked her breath I almost thought she was dead

He screams and yells she shouldn't have said what she said 

All she wanted was a sober husband to come to bed

She didn't wanna lie to my grandma about the bruises on her face

Moving three kids all over the place 

She tried to hide the monster that he was but I saw it and I knew it and eventually he blew it

Mother fucker got cancer and didn't hear a word from me

His own fuckin daughter couldn't stand the sight of him

He chased me down and threw me to the floor told me they were my last words and to say no more

My uncle grabbed him, chuck it's your daughter!

He pulled back, threatened to grab the baseball bat 

Moms in the other room cryin don't hurt my kids but it's too late she didn't see what he did

That's what happens when a man is sick drinking and getting high 

Can't deal with his life so does coke to pass it by 

When I was 17 he finally sobered up told me on New Years it was his last cup

He already knew the damage was done he fucked up

I told him I forgive em but I'll never forget

All the bruises and beatens and all the times he would leave us 

All the drinks and the drugs, never any kisses or hugs 

Stealing our birthday money for your gambling problems

Your kids are so bright but they can't fucking afford college

Your $150 a week never fucking helped

Shit your daughter got knocked up at 18 and can't even help herself

And your first grandson is a beautiful blessing 

Too bad you left the hospital on selfish terms when he was being born it was a beautiful day 

Turned my life around now I spend my days playing and loving and hugging

Sometimes I yell and I feel sorry cause I know how it felt 

Sometimes you come out my mouth and I hate myself 

But I thought the abuse was normal and I'm tryna break the cycle 

Tryna break out of my depression and my self loathing

Can't even love myself cause nobody ever taught me 

But my son will be better I will raise him correctly 

You can't even see him now because you put down my family

We're trying to work with what we got and it isn't much

You didn't give much example of what to do 

But I'm doin one better than you 

Because I'm not high 

I don't drown my fucking pain 

I eat that shit for breakfast and get on with my day

I fucking smile like there ain't a million things wrong with me

This is my letter to my fucked up past 

Cause if I keep living in it I won't go anywhere fast 

I'm gonna graduate from school and be the best young mom I can be

I'll be better than you and my son will be better than me