Labels
Somedays I think I hate me
The things I have done and said
all the evil spinning through my head
but now I have realized I don’t hate me at all
it is just the situations that make me fall
into a pit of despair
you know I have never fit in anywhere
I am too white to be black too black to be white
Well now I’m tossed in the spotlight
Too happy to be sad too sad to be happy
yet they still have the audacity me sassy
What is sass another way to label me
I am sick of labels is there no where to flee
My native culture has destroyed some of the things I now struggle to regain
I now pick up the broken pieces with pain
It surrounded me with cruel rigidity
I am tired of being defined by it with no legitimacy
No one was given the authority to circumspect me
I refuse to marked as an item on any society's list
List me as one of those strong enough to defy gravity
Or at least any civilization with a depraved finality
yet I do not want to pick up a new definition
I do not want to be part of a culture anymore
That part of me ran out the door
Into a world of the unknown perceptions held by humanity
I don't want to be sucked into a place where rules have been made and followed for years
With no spectrum of innovation to hold back the tears
That arise from the doubts and fears of oppression
I no longer take pride in my culture which sickens some and confuses others
Yet I don't want to be American either, I know that will please my mother
The decision to be American comes with too many pitfalls and confusions and maybe even dangers
And I know I would still be a stranger
However I want to be part of the American spirit, to be free
I can't stand being a caged bird, alone in the dark never finding the key
To unlock the wondrous treasures that the world holds
but now I dare to be bold
Can you believe these words have never been spoken
I am too afraid that people will either laugh and tell me I am over-dramatic
Be confused and tell me it is all in my head, that just I'm a fanatic
Or say nothing
The nothingness of it all scares me