Is so innocent with the potential for so much harm.
So shiny, so pristine when maintained.
I’ve imagined those knives in the kitchen,
So sharp with their ebony handles,
Plunged into my chest
With the ebony handle jutting out from between my breasts
I would heave for breath,
Waiting for the sweet relief of death,
The ultimate darkness to rescue me
From the black hole that was consuming me.
So simple a thought,
Letting it all end in a sea of red,
A sea that even Moses wouldn’t have been able to spread.
That monster sat on the clean white counter,
Staring at me and begging for me to allow it
To see my life finally end,
Allow it to rescue me from that all-consuming darkness.
There were moments that I almost gave in,
Found my sticky fingers reaching for that ebony handle,
But I couldn’t do it
Because in my ear were other voices begging me to stop
To not give in
To think of them
To see that I was loved
To see that monster in perspective,
To see it for all that it really was.
So simple. So innocent.