Just Keep Going

scrolling through

hundreds of pages

thousands of words

none are my own

full of lives I have never lived

never knowing how to compete

feeling small and insignificant

ONE HUNDRED PERCENT

ANYTHING LESS IS POINTLESS

ringing through my ears

pressure on my chest

can't eat

feeling small

feeling tired

after achieving nothing

YOU DON"T CARE

YOU'RE SELFISH

YOU'RE ENTITLED

YOU'RE A LAZY

AND A TRICKSTER

honesty is too much

the lies i give are not enough

the real me

runs and rebels

runs and rebels

not strong enough

never enough

do better

do more

I love you

I only want what's best for you

You have so much more potential

keep pushing

keep fighting

a day of fun

an hour of laughter

slip up

shit

gotta fix it

how to fix it

I'M SORRY

THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH

I DO EVERYTHING FOR YOU

THIS IS A GIANT FUCK YOU TO ME

FUCK ME?

FUCK ME?

NO FUCK YOU

I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO HAS THE RIGHT TO CRY

DON'T SQUEEZE YOUR FINGERS

DON'T LOOK AWAY

DON'T JUST STARE

how to react

what to do

just bear it

just push through

you know you have it good

you deserve the words

they are true

YOU DON'T DESERVE A SECOND CHANCE

WHAT'S THE POINT

YOU DON'T CARE ANYWAY

YOU THINK WE ARE STUPD

YOU THINK YOU CAN PLAY US

WE GIVE YOU EVERYTHING

all my fault

if i had just done better

if i had just pushed harder

i need to do more

i need her to know

i care

i want to do better

i want to be who you want me to be

another slip up

damn me

why can't i just do something right for once

it will be fine

just keep pushing try again

I GAVE UP EVERYTHING FOR YOU

WE ARE FIGHTING BECAUSE OF YOU

WE WOULD BE FINE

IF YOU COULD JUST GET IT RIGHT

YOU SEE I TOLD YOU SHE DOESN'T CARE

SHE IS PLAYING YOU

SHE IS JUST LIKE HER MOTHER

SHE'S USING YOU JUST LIKE HER MOTHER DID

it's apart of who i am

she is right

i must be selfish at heart

i break everything i touch

if i left it would get better

but i stay

because i can't be alone just yet

i can't do it yet

i'm not ready i'm sorrry

i'm not strong enough

 

Just give up on me. I'm tired of fighting and yelling. Stop caring. It will be so much better for you. I promise. Life will be so much easier. Stop holding on. Wash your hands of me. PLEASE! I'm begging you. for once, truely be done......entirely

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