Junior Year

 Fresh 16 my life was great, license, car, fuel in my tank.A simple question asked of my mother flipped my world like to fucking otherHer eyes told me the answer, the one I did not want to hearand this began the best and yet worst of my yearTo the doctor we went, one I had seen beforeSome images taken before she would even walk in the doorAgain my mom with those eyes, my fate had been sealedShe grabbed hold my hand and Jesus the wheelA whirlwind of wordsDid she just say save her nippleWhat in the CRAP do you mean MASTECTOMYI am 16 how the hell did this happen to meI sat there listening, watching them speakFlipping of pages, calls being madeWalked out being told I would have to start school lateAgain my mom’s eyes gave her awayShe hugged me so gently and said It will be okayThe car ride was quiet, my mom “staying strong”She finally said to cry would not be wrongI looked at her so fast, she was taken backI have no tears my mom God has my backShe was flooredNo wordsNo look in her eyesShe just looked ahead and kept on with the driveWhat seemed like an eternity passed in that carFinally, FINALLY her mouth was ajarThe words that fell outJust hung in the airSis, your bravery is something none can compareWhat an easy thing to tell to someone who is hurtingBut here you are with GOD and NO FEARMaybe this won’t be such a bad yearYou there, reading this feeling pity for meLosing my breast was nothing you’ll seeThe summer faded so quicklyMy surgery drew nearThe love of my life at this time did appear6 inches in size, the tumor they foundMy nipple intact and some unseen breast tissue tooSo really I looked as normal as a mastectomy patient could hope toThe days that I sat stuck in m homePassed rather quickly with my bestie and beau on the phoneFinally back to my life I could goHigh school, sports, dances and workWhat happens next is nothing but absurdA regular teenage squabble between friendsNext thing you know I have lost my best friendThe one who has been my bestie since fourNo longer was ringing me or knocking on my doorThis will pass I keep telling my self every night thru the tearsMy boyfriend did his best to comfort me thru my Junior yearSnapchat streak broken, got ready for HoCo aloneThen came the holidays and still no call on my phoneMom watched me cry my heart outAnd then just like thatI thought fuck all this shit, she can’t have me backI fought a huge battle and came out my head held highThis little blonde demon was no longer worth my tearsIf she was willing to let go of all those yearsThen it must not have been realThe time that had past began to just healSo to my mom, my boyfriend and to the real friends of mineI say thank you for helping me leave the imposters behindMuch love to the ones, that held to me tightWithout you and the Lord I would have lost this fight.  

 

This poem is about: 
Me

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