The Invisible Lady

This lady paints
Her face without makeup
And she wears no skirts
Or dresses
She is the eye of many
Even though she publicly
Is the face of distain

Even though I walk into the face
Of danger
I walk into the arms of grand abuse
I fail to be loved because it seems that
My existence is questionable
And to many my purpose does not match a use
Discarded
I feel that my identity needs proof
As I lay down
My soul
In exchange of normality
In my mind I cry
"I want to be like you"

I don't want to be the one to be disliked
Be chided with a pointed finger
And subject to a self abuse
I want to be free
I want to be a man too

I want to be uncontested
Stand firmly
Be the one that can be looked too
But the lines between what is me
And what I want to be is growing free
Of the effeminate me

I want God to help me abolish
The crossing of my legs
The manner and metaphors of my speech 
The fixation of hair
And fashionability
The passive nature
The need to be able to be the nuturing bee
I no longer want to be the Invisible Lady

I've paid a grave price
I've lost my esteem
Threw my manhood away
To live a dream
That never came to be
I've gazed at the heavens too long
I come too realizing my dreams need to come to
Reality
To save the empirical existence of me
For I live in shame
Unsure because of constant heartache
And crises abound that He still loves me