My Myers Briggs test indicates

That I am a scientist

My natural propensity for problem-solving

And an ability to grapple with vague concepts

Puts me among the type with the highest IQ

According to my type cast,

Extreme focus and dogged reasoning

Make me an excellent addition to any team

But only if the idea works

Because if I see a plan won't come together

I will switch gears until I fix it

I am ruthlessly calculating

Heartlessly practical

And I put all options through the filter

"Will it work?"


I am most productive alone,

For other people are distracting

I'm best left to my own devices

Because fellow humans do not understand

I am misunderstood


I am known for being reserved

My emotions make guest appearances on my face

Only when I'm not looking

Because feelings are for other people to battle

Not me


But that isn't true


I feel the same way as everyone else

I laugh, I hurt, I cry

Even though I never show it

I keep it all bottled up inside

Because emotions are irrational

And there's no way to measure them

No plugging into a formula to get a predictable answer

Every situation is different, new variables

Additional factors to contend with

It's simpler not to think about it


Famously, the scientist does not know how

To play the game of love

All those things people do each day,

Laughing, flirting, making conversation,

Do not make sense to me and do not come naturally

I can comprehend systems

I can estimate the distance of a projectile

With a little help from physics

I can sketch a cardioid on polar graphs

And the periodic table is etched into my memory

Diagramming sentences is more fun than shopping

And I would rather recite US presidents

Than risk social interaction

It's much easier to pretend I don't care

Than to explain that I do


I make a low-maintenance friend

As long as someone checks in every so often

To make sure I'm breathing

They have fulfilled my requirements of friendship

If I do manage to find a special someone,

I am a devoted companion

I am loyal and seek to strengthen the relationship

But only if the other person is sufficiently interesting

For if I fail to be intrigued by the complexity of their life

And if they lose the veil of mystery and intelligence

I will say goodbye and never look back


The life of the scientist can be brilliant

But it can also be terribly lonely

Because when everyone assumes that I am content

Living inside my own little world

It's like a self-fulfilling prophecy

Since the reason I hide is to escape from people

Who think they already know me

Based on the results of a personality test


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