I'm Not Sure

I’m not sure how

It happened,

only that I feel lonely

all the time.

 

I’m lonely

surrounded by people—acquaintances, friends, and strangers alike—

I’m lonely

around my own family,

I’m lonely

staying home alone,

watching as people’s pictures pop up all over my page.

Perhaps I was always alone, but

I was Ignorant then. Now,

I know.

 

I know I’ve been replaced.  

New friends are always so much more exciting. 

And I know I shouldn’t care.

She obviously doesn’t.

Besides… Things happen. People change.

God, I know. I know.

 

I’m not sure

What I Want to Be When I Grow Up or How to Get There or What I’m Going to Do with the Rest of My Life,

which is problematic

and utterly terrifying. 

I’m working on it, but not fast enough.

 

I’m not sure

What changed this year

Where all these feelings are coming from

When the number of likes became so important

or even How to make it all better

 

I’m not sure what the future holds.

I don’t have all my answers yet, 

but I know I shouldn’t let that get

to me.

Maybe I’ll never have all my questions answered

And that’s fine; 

they just needed to be heard. 

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