I'm Here To Stay

It's been a while since I put words on this page
Seems my life is like a perfect stage
Well that's what they say
Cause I haven't been writing in decades

But that doesn't mean I'm not real on what I say
It's not your job to watch every step I make
It's not your job to tell me when to leave and when to stay
I'm sure as hell gonna stay
Until my clay withers away
But I still have a long way
I'm only 19 but the thought of death still clogs my brains
Hard for me to write a single page
When you hear voices in your head saying "Your dying to day"
I can even hear it when writing this page

I know what some might say
That I need help and I need to get a professional way
No way
Why would spend money for personal strength
When I can do something that's free and easy
And self-sustains me
I know some might think I'm crazy
They might see me on the streets and move from me hastily
Even my sister moves from me greatly
Thinking I might snap on her and kill her
Everything is insanely
Going downhill

For those who think of me this way
I just want to say
That submission is not an option
I'm not gonna let these voices telling me that "killing is an option"
I'm not gonna let these voices say that "death is okay"
And get lost in it
cause self-control is something great
So great that no one can take
Cause I use it to break through these voices
That pushes me out of space
So all I can see is darkness
Never again

I will not fall for them
Some of you might think I'm exaggerating
Oh really?
If your hearing voices what path would take
What steps would you make
What weapon would you create
To take them and break them and bring them to places
Where they won't create
Blackholes
It's an art for them you see
Cause when they create it's hard to see

This is getting too long
But before I leave
I hope you understand that I never lost my place
I hope this message conveys this
That I'm here to stay
For all of you who read this
Thank you so much for your stay
Be Safe

This poem is about: 
Me

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