what is worse

feeling sad, lonely, worthless, ugly, horrible...

or feeling nothing at all?

i told myself i was recovering

this is recovery

but a little part of me is saying that this is not recovery

this is an angel mask on a demonic entity 

this is a bandaid on an open wound cut deep to the bone

this is nothing but a mere cap

on the emotions that are bubbling inside of me

the sadness, the ager, the confusion, the anguish, the hopelessness...

but no such caps can stay on forever 

and im afraid

whe mine finallty shatters

and the bubbling emotions go flying

it will all be like it was

but...i want to be better...