I'm Afraid
Location
My name is Sam.
A name given to me by my mother and father whom I love,
I love all those who share my blood,
yet they don't know the whole of me.
I was born in tremendous love
before the first black president,
before the falling of the twin towers,
before the marriage of prince and a commoner,
and before the end of the world.
I was born indebted to my shaper; my God,
yet he wants nothing more than my love.
My love that I have given away
to any and every passing stray
who even so happens to look my way way.
I love my body, flaws and all.
I love my hair and my skin all natural.
I love my sense of humor and all of my friends,
I love my future and my plans.
But, then again...
I know it's all a lie.
I know I should, but I don't love my parents
who brought me into a world like this.
And I'm praying to a God who I'm not even sure exists.
I'm holding all my love for a man, who couldn't care less,
and I'm never comfortable in this body that's a mess.
I hide behind my sarcasm
and behind those enemies I call friends.
I hide behind the fact that my future is all planned,
when everyday I doubt more and more
all the work that I've put in.
So who I am it's hard to tell,
when I'm hiding behind this shell.
Too afraid to come out and see the light,
Too afraid of what might bite.
I'm afraid of my fragile world crumbling down,
afraid of letting people see me hit the ground.