by Ariel Douglas (18 November 2014)

 

I knew I was lost when my life spiraled out of control.

I knew I was lost when I no longer wanted to live.

I knew I was lost when I tried to forget what was happening to me.

I knew I was lost when I tried to lose the pain in more pain.

I knew I was lost when my heart ached and cried out.

I knew I was lost when I wanted my heart to explode.

I knew I was lost when I tried to get my brain to evaporate.

I knew I was lost when the cold metal of the blade became my only friend.

I knew I was lost when I decided the haze was better than reality.

I knew I was lost when my image was no longer appealing.

I knew I was lost when food was no longer acceptable.

I knew I was lost when I started to die.

I knew I was lost when I enjoyed that idea.

 

I knew I was found when I gave up control again.

I knew I was found when I found new life in the Giver of Life.

I knew I was found when my strength was no longer dependent on me.

I knew I was found when I no longer had to carry my own pain.

I knew I was found when my heart filled again and cried out with joy.

I knew I was found when my heart began bursting with new life.

I knew I was found when my thoughts became filled with His glory again.

I knew I was found when I rejected the blade and ran to my Best Friend.

I knew I was found when my reality became so much better than I remembered.

I knew I was found when I remembered that I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

I knew I was found when the Bread of Life became my satisfaction again.

I knew I was found when I was brought into life.

I knew I was found when I returned to living for Someone else.

 

If I hadn’t gotten lost I would have remained a lukewarm Christian.

If I hadn’t gotten lost my life would have been vague.

If I hadn’t gotten lost I would be weak and easily relenting.

If I hadn’t gotten lost I would wallow in my pain.

If I hadn’t gotten lost I wouldn’t have cared to have a half-empty heart.

If I hadn’t gotten lost I would never appreciate the renewal of life.

If I hadn’t gotten lost my thoughts would be selfish and unconcerned with others.

If I hadn’t gotten lost I would yell and scream at my Friend for all things that went wrong.

If I hadn’t gotten lost I would have a sad pathetic reality.

If I hadn’t gotten lost I would be concerned with petty things like clothes and accessories.

If I hadn’t gotten lost I would look toward material things to satisfy me.

If I hadn’t gotten lost I wouldn’t be able to relate to you.

If I hadn’t gotten lost I wouldn’t be able to show you His love and His life.