If I Could Talk To My Past Self

Dear Past Self,


I remember the tears

that  roll down your cheeks,

a wam trail of despairing emotion

lingering on your sodden face.


I can’t stop crying.


But why would you cry?

You knew you could never stop

what I would eventually become.

You were scared of me.


How will I turn out?


Those tears representing fears

of the future and the unknown.

I wonder if I’m something

you ever expected me to be.


I can’t imagine myself living past college.


The fears of failure,

the inevitable,

the responsibilities,

and yourself.


Will I ever love myself?


I still feel the ache in my chest

of all of the times you’ve given up.

I recall the emptiness at night

when my soul would never rest.


I can’t sleep when I’m thinking.


You are still going through hurt.

I can do nothing but watch.

But eventually you’ll find your way

out of the dark, and into the light.


I hope I’m happier in the future.


There will be better days.

There will be more people.

There will be no more pain.

In the future you’ll make.


I want to make a difference.





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