Why do I feel as if I constantly need to meet society's needs?

I am seventeen, Hispanic, and born in the bustling city of Miami---

lived here my whole life.

One side of my family knows me as a catracha,

while the other side knows me as a paisa.

I enjoy learning about my background through my abuelitas,

while sipping on café con leche.

I embrace my big nose and frizzy hair around them. 

A part of me thrives in Allapatah,

Where my abuelo cut opens coconuts with his machete.

Where the whole family gathers around 

and munches on pastelitos---

while reminiscing and telling stories from their homeland.

I wish this could be me everyday,

but I have to act a certain way.

It’s not easy to know what is true for you or me.

I am constantly contradicting myself

to satisfy those around me.

I spend hours straightening my hair,

I spend hours applying mascara,

I spend hours masking my true identity---

to fit society’s standards specifically designed for me.

I cannot afford to look less of the image---

as for it is a part of me.

Perhaps one day I will break the chains and set free.

Sometimes I do not want to be apart of the stereotype,

or for it to be a part of me.

But maybe,

one day I will be me.