Why do I feel as if I constantly need to meet society's needs?
I am seventeen, Hispanic, and born in the bustling city of Miami---
lived here my whole life.
One side of my family knows me as a catracha,
while the other side knows me as a paisa.
I enjoy learning about my background through my abuelitas,
while sipping on café con leche.
I embrace my big nose and frizzy hair around them.
A part of me thrives in Allapatah,
Where my abuelo cut opens coconuts with his machete.
Where the whole family gathers around
and munches on pastelitos---
while reminiscing and telling stories from their homeland.
I wish this could be me everyday,
but I have to act a certain way.
It’s not easy to know what is true for you or me.
I am constantly contradicting myself
to satisfy those around me.
I spend hours straightening my hair,
I spend hours applying mascara,
I spend hours masking my true identity---
to fit society’s standards specifically designed for me.
I cannot afford to look less of the image---
as for it is a part of me.
Perhaps one day I will break the chains and set free.
Sometimes I do not want to be apart of the stereotype,
or for it to be a part of me.
one day I will be me.