Me, well where to start??

A young boy six years of age

Mom taken by cancer

me full of rage...


Raised in church every sunday and Christian school and sorta popular somewhat cool

but know god well…

I'm not sure i did.


see 8 years old and more trouble was brewing LYIN CHEATIN STEALIN were the things I was doing.


I mean Only 2nd grade and my thoughts the devil did invade.

on the outside well people would think I was ok.

Still 2nd grade and outside at play one day I heard the devil say

Ben this ain't worth it

your moms gone

your dad don't care

you've done so much wrong that god left.. He ain't there


But hey, hey said the devil I have a solution…To get rid of... YOU…cause everyone knows…YOU'RE the pollution…it's your fault your fault your mother died cause I know when U were little U told some lies....


So now said the devil

take that long sleeve and tie it around your neck pull it tight and

try not to fight cause breathing might get harder but

I know what to do cause I'm the devil I'm smarter


I was fading fast that sleeve didn't let much air pass

…but suddenly it was off my neck my teacher asked

Ben what the heck...

are YOU doing?


Killing myself was my reply

The devil had come in and

invaded my inside


She said Ben,

“Jesus loves you and made you special. he put you here for a reason and he loves you even if you commit high treason.”


But a few years later…5th grade to be exact I had to switch schools cause money my family lacked

now my faith was growing strong but at a new school my life quickly went wrong





was a big change

my new school the sin was at a much wider range

It was strange cause when I got there the only bad word I knew was SHUT UP. but within a month my new vocab added up.


By 7th grade language wasn't the only thing I wasn't supposed to do

the info I'm about to share not many people in my life have been exposed to


See language was a problem but not my addiction but

the Internet is where I'd go to relieve life's friction


my addiction was pornography that was how I rid myself of the pain

inside of me

the screen was my source of entertainment

nobody knew cause

I hid that part of me in containment

heck when it came to lust

I didn't know what refrain meant but

in my church-life

I was well…

a SAINT to them.


But one night at a campfire god hit me

he said,

“Ben this life you live ain't what I've called you too you can only have one god and right now you're trying to worship two.”


So I got up from there with a changed mind

I asked for forgiveness and

God said,

“leave that sin behind.”


Now the point of this is not that I'm PERFECT

cause all fall

but now I have GOD

to him I resort

I realized that summer night that identity isn't what people think of me it's not the sin in me it's not what anyone can see

identity is found in HIM and HIM alone

because he came down from his thrown

because he knew I couldn't do it on MY OWN

So Me?

My Identity?

I Am Free!

Not because of me











My Identity is in


The Lord



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