I will never be like you

Dear mom, 

I forgive you for the scars on my mind that will never go away.

I forgive for the nightmares I wake up from in the middle of the night thinking everyone has left me. 

 I forgive you for the friends you brought into the house and let them violate me and my brother. 

I forgive you for the drugs you brought into my life as the smoke feels the room.

I sit there wishing you had spent your whorish money on feeling our stomachs instead of feeling your body with the next high.

I forgive you for the lies you have told.

I forgive you for dropping out of high school and making our lives ten times harder. 

I forgive you for all the times you blacked out and you don't remember.

I am sorry I came into your life when you weren't ready. 

I am sorry for making my life bigger than you.

I am sorry that when I got a new family I thought they would be the ones that would love me like you never did.

I am sorry I let you live in my brain for so long making you think I was nothing that nobody would love me if my mother never could.

Now that I have found a home where I am loved and successful you say you love me and want me back.

The success I have had in life they are about you. But you did nothing to help me become the person I am beside fuel my anger.

My success in life are mine, not yours. 

Thank you for everything you have done because it has powered me to be the best I can be so I never end up like you.

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