I use words that more

I use words that more often than not, make no sense.
I say things that I do not mean.
My speech is long winded and punishing to the ears.
This only makes my hatred for myself grow more and more.
As I've grown,  I have learned to make sure not of offend people with the lengthy events in my life. 
I do not speak with brevity, I do not speak with clarity, so why should I speak at all? 
My pen meeting the paper does not make any more sense than my speech,
so why write at all? 

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