I tripped

I don’t believe in love.

Well, I’ve never been in love.

See, generally Love implies that two people care for each other unconditionally.

That in days where it seems like there is nothing else you have everything because you have him.

You don’t have to be the most beautiful girl in the world because to him you are his world.

He doesn’t need to have anything, bring anything or be anything but himself

because that’s enough for you.

 

I’ve never been in love.

Most people fall in love.

But me?

 I tripped over absolutely nothing.

 

See, falling implies that there was something,

something that knocked you off balance.

His words so sweet your knees buckled

gifts, so many that you fell over one,

arms so strong you didn’t think you needed legs any more

A heart so warm you got comfortable and forgot you were standing right in front of him

You fell for him…

 

I tripped over thin air.

His words held no promises

His gifts were worthless

His arms were so scrawny that he could barely support himself

And his heart was cold… so, so, cold…

I could’ve built a snowman and that snowman would’ve been warmer than He ever was.

 

I didn’t fall in love.

I tripped over the thin air that was my own foolishness.

 

When I tripped I landed face first in what would soon become

Despair,

Self-hatred,

Loneliness,

and shards of what was once my confidence and purpose.

 

I tripped and broke.

 

I pay for it every single day.

I made a mistake.

I listened to the radio as Genuwine sang about differences because

My whole life had changed, I knew you were that special one, you made my life complete and I was oh so glad you came into my life.

I watched t.v. as Jack drew Rose aboard the titanic and each time that pencil grazed the page it made a mark that only he could see because Rose wanted him to see it.

 

Naïve of me to think it was real

They were only in it for the money

 

I didn’t have money.

So what were you in it for?

 

I guess it doesn’t matter.

You left with

My Pride,

My faith,

My hope,

And a colonized piece of me I’ll never get back because your very essence plagues it.

 

Whatever you were in it for,

You left with a lot more.

 

I don’t believe in love.

You fall in love.

I’ve never been in love.

I tripped over nothing.

 

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