I Struggled With Me, But Not Anymore

I can be the type of person to be loud

But I can also be quiet

I am the center of attention and the loner in the corner

I am both very introverted and very extroverted

And I love the way that I am, 

But sometimes I find it hard to be who I am. 

When I am extroverted the people around me tell me that I am: 

Dramatic

Loud 

Annoying 

Extra 

Too Much 

A Lot to Deal With

When I am introverted the people around me tell me that I am: 

Quiet 

Selfish

Isolated 

"In my dungeon"

"Don't want to send time with them" 

It can be hard for me to live around them because it feels like no matter what I do, 

I, me, the divided amivert will never be enough. 

That is why I act the way I do. 

I say thinks about myself to deflect what will be said about me.

I act dumb to hide behind the hurt that I feel

I say that I am ok when I am not to keep from being questioned and ridiculed for feeling the way that I do.

I ignore, walk away, and hide in my room to avoid any comments. 

I do that and have done that because I feel whenever I express how I feel treated I get comments like:

You are too sensitive

You can't take a joke

You are not responsible 

You take everything too seriously

But as I start the new  year, I plan by the grace of God to be a different person. 

The type of person that will not be affected  by the words that are said to me, 

That will not say the same thing's to others 

That will be confident in the way that she is and will stand up for herself. 

I was born very extroverted and over time became introverted. 

I can't say that this is anybody else's fault because I those to hide, but not anymore

I may not have the personality that people around me like or want me to have 

But I love myself, because I am all that Jesus has made me to be, 

The broked, flawed, joyful, and optimistic woman that I am. 

From now on if it ain't about sin, I don't plan on changing a thing. Because in the end that is what makes me win. 

 

 

 

 

This poem is about: 
Me

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