I Refuse To Allow You To Abuse

Thu, 11/02/2017 - 18:18 -- Yahyah

Because I love you is what you say, yet black and blue, is the color you, choose for me to wear today. I keep asking "how does a bruise, show you care in any way", but you refuse, to not abuse, or to let me run away..........
Locked in a life of hell, I'm in torment every moment, yet I can no longer hear my yell, I feel alone and I'm too embarrassed to tell, my mind ain't well, my heart is a cracked, blacked out shell..........
How long will I have to bear this pain I wear, how long will I be able to mask it, will it be before my mama has to be at unrest, the question I begin to ask it, before she's informed to buy a black dress, to view me in my casket, or will I find a way, no matter what I have to do, to make it be okay..........
I decide I'm not going to take my life by suicide, nor will I allow this man to continually jeopardize, my life, by giving me constant black eyes, which I, used makeup as a constant disguiser, so no one would be the wiser..........
Walking out the front door was no option, neither was hurting him with some deadly concoction, he always said if I tried to leave he would kill me dead, and he had already took two shots at my head, because when he rolled over to reach for me I wasn't in bed..........
He accused me of messing with everybody from the preacher to old wineo red, to funky feet fred, I was beat down no matter what I said..........
I had no plan, I had no idea how I would get away from this man. He always had a tight grip on the cell phone, he never left me with it alone, and to touch it was like putting my life in the danger zone..........
Well one day he left it, and with no resistance I dialed 911 and told them my boyfriend pushed me down the stairs and I needed assistance. He realized he had left the phone and immediately came back home, unaware that I had already called the police, he begin to question me and his fury begin to release, pounding on me and he would not cease, until those billy clubs started to make him scream "stop please", crying and curled up like a fetus on his knees, then they told him to freeze, and finally, oh finally I was free..........
He was charged with an expensive plea, where he might have been convincing me, the lie didn't fly with the judge or attorney. He was guilty of kidnapping and assault and for 8 years & 9mos a prison cell is what he bought..........
I moved so far away I never saw him another day and I vied, if he ever successfully tried, that would probably be the day one of us died.

This poem is about: 
Me
Our world
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