i LOVED you

I was feeling so confident and feeling so great about myself

And then it just be completely shattered.

By one thing.

By something so stupid.

But then you make me feel crazy.

You make me feel like it’s all my fault.

I was in pain.

I f*cking hate myself.

I’m so….

Lonely,

And hurt so much.

Maybe I’m not good enough….

Maybe I’m just not.

Want me to calm down?

I can’t calm down.

I can’t. I can’t. I can’t.

It hurts too much.

It hurts, just make it stop.

I mean, you were concerned about getting through today

Without a hint of how you’d feel tomorrow.

Do you regret it?

Are you wishing that you had never said it?

Because you were fidgeting and making me nervous,

And I made you tell me what was on your mind.

WHY?

Why did I let myself accept the fate you made for us?

I wasn’t supposed to end like this.

It hurts so bad,

I can’t breathe.

I don’t want to be strong.

I CAN’T!

I shouldn’t have to.

I wanted you.

I needed you.

I wanted to tell you all the stupid things I’ve ever done in my life.

All the choices I made that I shouldn’t have

I wanted to share everything with you.

Because you didn’t judge,

You didn’t care how crazy I was,

Or if I was upset.

All you wanted to do was make me happy.

And it hurts….

Because the only person I need and want to talk to about this,

The only human being that could possibly make me feel okay about myself,

The only person that doesn’t make me feel worthless,

Is the person that hurt me.

I can’t talk to you about this.

Because you made me feel like it was my fault.

You made me feel like nothing,

And you made me feel worthless.

And I can’t even hate you

Because I loved you too much to hate you.

This poem is about: 
Me

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