I Love Rainy Days

It's dark

And it's cold

The night so beautiful

I can hear my mom & boyfriend yelling

And screaming

Words so hurtful

 

It's raining

It's thundering

Tonight is the night

My mom's sleep & her boyfriend's creeping

Towards me

Tonight is the night

 

I love the rain

I love the thunder

And the lightening too

I lay under my covers while he stands at my door

Getting excited

A pounding heart cause I knew

 

It calms me

It soothes me

The night & the rain

He climbs into my bed & I did nothing

Except comply

Too great is the pain

 

I'm scared

And alone

Neglectful is my mother

She pretends that he's not in my bed at night

Touching, sleeping,

And staying in bed for another...

 

I make my move

He awakens

I will fight this time

He punched my head, slapped my face, & constricted my neck

I escaped through the window

The exit felt so sublime

 

I run

So fast

Lightening has mercy

He doesn't even bother because this is the routine

So he watches me

The night is my key

 

And so I hide

An unmarked spot

And I just wait

I know what is to come the very next morning

Try not to worry my mind

Worry is too much weight

 

The Sun rises

My mother's upset

His wagging tongue lies

It's so hard to not think of tomorrow's troubles

I'm beaten once I'm home

A piece of me dies

 

No one bothers me

Not out here

This weather is too much for most

God has given me sanctuary & answered my prayers

He listens to me

In ways not like most

 

People will wonder

About my God

How can He be so real?

He lets me get raped by mom's boyfriends

My mom hates me

So how can He ever be real?

 

God made rain

God made night

God makes a way out

If someone asked me, "What kind of weather I like?"

I'd say rainy days

With no ounce of doubt

 

Night gives darkness

Lightening shines through

Thunder intimidates fears

But it is the rain that rejuvenates me every time

It cleanses me

It's all very clear

 

The darkness hides me

My fears are gone

The light comforts me

Rain water that washes me makes me feel brand new

God made those

For people like me

 

Sometimes I pretend

The dark clouds

They cry with me

Because I share my pain, my secret, my life with them

Our tears are the same

There's sympathy

 

Sometimes I pretend

That God cries

Through the clouds for me

Because He knows my story & my pain

He answers prayers

He answers me

 

All I ask

Is for a break

That's all I ask

I know people have to go through in life

I don't ask for much

A break is all I ask

 

He answers

Through rain

It works every time

Like Notre Dame, I run in it & not chased nor followed

Dangers of the night are quiet

He protects me every time

 

The Lord knows

That my body

Just can't take it all

When the Sun is out the toture don't stop

It rains then it stops

I know a break just stalls

 

Some may ask

Why not ask

For it all to go away?

There has to be a reason why God chose me

To go through my hell

Another can't live my life & stay

 

This is my story

I understand now

I know my God

Will one day release me & it'll be my past

It'll be no more

No longer I'm odd

 

Then the questions

How do you

Keep the smile on your face?

Hope, faith, belief, & strength is what keeps me going

There's no choice

But death. No ace!

 

See if I

Don't have something

That very thing

That'll keep me going keep me alive

Then why continue

To live for nothing?

 

Hatred

Depression

Will consume my being

Thoughts of despair will just cloud my mind

Then my heart

Death'll be the ultimate thing

 

To think

To hope

To believe that God

To know that God can perform all miracles

Don't limit His powers

To just a pea pod

 

See He is the One

That keeps me going

That keeps me alive

That thin line between life & death

Curses & blessings

His love's never deprived

 

So when I'm around

Others aplenty

Quiet as a mouse

It's because I'm scared to speak & even to share

Trust is lost

Imagine my house

 

If you see me

All by myself

I'm a loner

Times when people talked about or ignored me

My mom did

The world is like her

 

I have someone

To talk to I mean

To lay my burdens

On Him, my God that loves me for me

No pressures or stress

Despite my sins

 

That is why

I need Him

The only one that cares

He wakes me every morning to live another day

That shows His grace

And mercy that He shares

 

That is why

I love the rain

Those stormy nights

It yells my story in a language unknown to man

It cries my pain

And weathers my fights

 

What days you favor

Sunny or rainy

If someone says

I'll answer with a smile & joy in my heart

Cause peace'll come again

I love rainy days

          

This poem is about: 
My community
Our world

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