I forgive you
I raised you since I was 9 years old
You took away my childhood
Yet i did not protest
For I understood your mind wasn't like the rest
You saw the world through allbrite's eyes
Your comprehension ran a slower pace
We're all running the same race
Yet your mind trails behind
Your body has changes for 23 years
Yet your brain remains 8 year old boy
trying to catch up
To the rest of you
But I will always run on the sidelines
Lifting you up
Cheering you on
I will be the guiding star
That will bring you home
Even though your whisky meteor showers
stumbling through the doors at early hours of late nights
The scent of alcohol lingers in the air
Yet this atmosphere is different
Your eyes are filled by something I haven't seen
Little white crystals form a line on the table
You inhale them in seconds
And the frame of your soul is overcome with black smoke
You raise your fist like you do everytime
and everytime I plead and I cry
But you do not stop
Yet this psychical pain does not phase me
No
What hurts me is seeing you devoured by drugs
And lost forever
Wondering the streets like a zombie
Numb to love
Watching you slowing kill Yourself
Is what brings me to my knees
Others mistake this for weakness
But this is where I found forgiveness
I forgive you
Yet I tried and I tried
To give you the help that you never wanted
But how could I help a lost soul find its way home
When I don't even know what home is anymore
And how could I watch you
buy a one way ticket straight to hell?
I can't
I paint a picture over it
I pretend like it's all okay
I never let anyone in
For I'm afraid they'll find out
Of my monstrous secrets
And so I live my life
Believing no one could ever love me
Because I have forgot how to love myself
And I have no one els to thank but
My brother
The one that showed me
That it's okay
To die alone
This poem is about:
My family