I couldn't save you,

My friend.

Whose smile was big and great, your eyes

peeking out over the moutain of cheek.

Your short hair that you tried so desperatly

to grow out.

 

We begged you not to tell

But you couldn't stand it

You couldn't stand living like this

So you told them

She told her parents

And instead of taking their daughter in open arms

Instead of welcoming their new daughter

 

They shaved her hair

They sent her away

Sent her away to teach her to hate herself

More than she already did

She only made it two weeks

before it became too much

 

They used that picture of her

Hanging. Stiff and quiet.

They put it everywhere.

And they called it a tragedy. Said it was

Unpreventable. And her parents,

The ones who rather loose their child

then accpet their daughter,

Wept.

 

I couldn't save her.

 

I couldn't save you.

My friend.

With long dark hair in a braid

And nose shoved deep into the pages of a book

And your glasses being pushed back as an instinct.

 

Nobody knew you were sick.

 

By the time your parents

Scarped together enough

To take you to the doctor

It was too late

 

And when you sat in chemo

And I would send you the goofiest videos I could fine

from what felt like the other side of the world,

but was only an eight hour drive.

And we talked and she cried,

"We should have runaway".

 

And when she felt the slow approach of death

And she felt she had nothing left to loose

She told them

She told them who she loved

And her parents looked down on their dying little girl

and said

"It makes sense. This is God punishing you."

 

And she died.

 

And they did not mourn.

And they were satisfied by the lies

they told themselves

It's what you deserve.

 

And she died.

 

And I couldn't save her

And I couldn't save her

And nobody cared about the kids

That were left to die

Because of who they were

or who they loved.

And I couldn't save her

But I keep on trying

I keep trying to save her.