I am simply not sure

Someone once asked me, "who are you and what made you this way?"

I was asked that questions years and still am lost for an answer to this day

I am a women of color with a body that has even proportions

I am someone that is able to bring a frown to a smile without even forcing.

I understand a glimpse of WHO I am but not so much on WHAT made me how I am.

I guess you can call me the wild turkey in a store full of hams.

By that I mean I am the one to stand out because of my past

I try not to look back because people always tells me life moves too fast.

My trust issues came from not having my dad around me to teach me what a woman should know 

That is one of my deeper issues but I refuse to let any form of pain show.

My pain comes from the constant burden of watching my mom do it all on her own

I am a spitting image of my mom so I pray that when I become a mother, I can be her clone

Giving up her last just to provide for my sister and I

The pain I can ONLY imagine she experienced is one that would make me die inside

My attempts to be there for previous partners are ones that are unappreciated and left at the door

I've gotten stabbed in my back so many times that it honestly doesn't even hurt anymore

While the sleeves I always wear will forever cover up the cuts and burns on my arms,

The mask I wear will forever hide my tears and simply just show my charm


Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741