I am studious and inquisitive, wondering what life has to offer.I wonder about my future family, what kind of mom, wife, and grandparent I will be. The fun mom, the patient and forgiving wife, the grandma who spoils her daughters or sons children and compares their actions to how their parents used to act as kids.I hear an insecurity resurfaced, looks and actions that keep me self-conscious of myself, a silence that is in no way comfortable.I see an alternate universe, what path I would be on without those I have now, would I respect my elders, my authority figures or myself as I was brought up to do.I want to turn back the time, fix my past mistakes and mend friendships, to not remember what insignificant things I let happen to destroy a once inseparable connection, how we were best friends and sisters at heart. I am in constant wonder of how and why good things in our lives fall apart. I pretend I am listening, while comparing my normalcy to others, their issues, my issues, their perspective on “having fun” to my mine.I feel the presence of my guardian angel, urging me to be who I am, the little small voice wanting to erupt, to tell me that no one can judge you, but you.I touch a winter’s moon, sparkling skies in a snow globe reality, safe, comforted, sheltered, and full of aesthetic potential.I worry about the thoughts in my head, why I let the words of others affect me, how one detestable or vile remark causes me to rethink myself entirely.I cry whenever I hear of a teen suicide and what our generation has become, the people who feel like there is nothing left for them and all because others judged, picked, and bullied them.I am disappointed and appalled, our words should bring up others, not tear them down. One thing Avid has given me is a voice. The voice to not only speak up, but to freely express myself in ways I haven’t before.  I understand I can be excessive and dramatic at times, when I should be calm, cool, and collected, I should “worry about myself” I am told “not them”. What about those who do not have anyone to worry for them, do they not deserve to be heard and guided when needed? I say kindness and generosity is the future, not violence and judgement, what we look like or what our background is shouldn’t matter, only our vision for ameliorating the lives we live now.I dream for a day that we can trust our neighbors, our community, and our world, a day where we can see how far we have come and what good we have created.I try to show compassion and forgiveness to everyone, though I am not perfect and could use more practice, it is hard not to give in to the tempting pull of not caring or feeling anything for anyone, no indifference will not become me and I will not succumb to its despicable ways.I hope for a change in our generation, we are the second chance to make it great once more, the ones who will make or break an ongoing cycle that either unites us all or leaves us where we started.I now understand, and am no longer questioning what life has to offer. For I know now that I control what life is to offer me. My future and my choices affect how I decide to pursue my role in our generation. A generation where I choose to be a positive, thoughtful, and dedicated person in society, so that someday I can make an impact on the world and those who live in it.