Pain, Pain, and misery

These things fill me,

They consume me

Yet i am not sad

I do not let feelings kill me

I don't cry because i dont have a dad

I don't wheep for my mothers attention

I don't cry because inside i know 

That these things do not define me

I am me,

I still laugh

I still walk on the two feet that remind me

That I can't leave

I dont cry when i see a son and dad play catch

I just wish that 

Someday 

For even a millisecond of a millisecond 

I can be The Dad that i never had.