Hysterical Laughter (Open to other title suggestions)
I’ve built as many bridges as I could,
I’ve mended bridges that I now want to break.
Too many friendships that quit halfway through,
Too many broken bits of the bridges I built.
I’m always the bridge they burn first,
I’m always their easy target.
Well guess what you stupid jerks?
I will never forget what you did.
Because I honestly don’t care anymore!
Go ahead.
I rather die with a smile clutching a knife,
Than die in a meaningless and futile way.
I would go back in time just to burn all those stupid bridges,
Because who cares if you’re alone?
As long as my sanity is intact!
Back then I simply just watched time pass by,
Watching as others leave me,
Burning my bridges.
If I could go back,
I’d do it first,
Since they’d do it anyway.
All the voices in my head,
It’s like a raging storm,
If storms had rampaging animals in it.
There are around two different voices however,
One with ‘good intentions’,
One without.
They’re both arguing,
They’re both so loud,
And my head is their battleground.
My own voice is also in there,
Small,
Quiet.
“I believe they’d get better,”
“Believe in what? Failure?”
Yes.
“No! I want the best for ()!”
“If you really wanted the best for them then let them do it.”
Please.
“Why? What’s wrong with you!”
“Hey! I’m just telling the truth unlike your stupid face”
“That isn’t the truth! The truth is that they should believe it’ll get better”
It won’t and it never will.
“Better?! Hah! You amuse me!”
Exactly.
“They will! And I’ll make sure of it!”
“And how exactly hmm? They won't listen to your useless blabbering!”
“I…I’ll find a way!”
How..?
…
On a rooftop
…
I stare down at the random strangers walking past,
The streetlights glowing brightly.
I hang slightly over the railing edge,
And the voices come back.
“Don’t even think about it!”
“It’s their choice, I think they should do it!”
“No! Killing yourself is never the answer!”
“Well it is in this case! Can’t you see they want to do it?”
“No! They don’t want to do it! You’re forcing them!”
“Hah, no! Why would I? I’m not a control freak like someone!”
I blur the rest,
They grow louder
I can’t take it…
...
Something happens
Alarms ring in my ears,
As everything fades to black . . .
Comments
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Adventure_cat
I'd name the title, Surviving my own Life or Surviving in my Mind
Hey Mt Inside, it's been a while since you posted. You're someone I hold with a lot of respect, partially bc you're the first person who ever commented on my poem and offered advice (still super thankful for that!) and also because you have a talent with words that reaches out to me and my heart. This poem especially was an intense one, something I know we all struggle with at one point or another. But theres always someone or something worth living for. I'd say you're someone worth living for, someone important and loved I'm sure. Because if a random girl who likes writing poems respects you, I'm sure there are many other people who do too in your life. I really liked your poem since it acknowledged some things not many people are open to expressing, some bridges are worth building I'm sure you know. But it can be tiring I'm sure, don't take it all upon yourself, building a bridge goes both ways remember, if they aren't willing to put in the same effort as you, know they aren't worth it <3
Wishing you the best,
Adventure_cat