Have you ever fought yourself?
Have you ever been so revolted by your own will that
Air clenched in your throat and a weight
was driven down on your chest?
I doubt you have ever looked at a sharp surface
And seen another layer of scars.
I doubt you have ever looked at a metal can
And seen tantalizing new bruises.
I doubt you have ever looked at the world
And seen it as devoid of color
I doubt you have lain awake thinking about the most efficient way
to kill yourself
so many different options
sometimes with would be worth it...
Because I have.
This poem is about: