You’ve always had the preconceived idea that I am supposed to be the happy one. Even when all else is tumbling down, I’m expected to be the one who is the shelter in all of the insanity. But I always wonder what you would think if you knew about the tsunami inside my head and the hurricane inside my heart. I’ve spent the past three years trying to be the anchor for you in your own catastrophes, but you threw me into the ocean, and I’ve forgotten how to swim. I’m drowning in your storm while mine is bubbling up as well.

      It’s time for me to build my own ship and sail off to find somewhere where the storms subside, and there is peace after the madness. I have to follow my own map and lead myself through the hurricane. I have to go and find shelter for myself, and the fact of the matter is I can’t hold you up anymore. As I’m sailing to my safe haven, you have to do the same. I promise, I’ll still help guide you, but I can’t be wind beneath your sail anymore. I have my own ship to steer, and it’s headed in the opposite direction of you.

     So just as I’m helping you to read the map and cleaning off the lens of your telescope, I need you to do the same for me. I may be far away, but I still need a message in a bottle every once in a while to show that you’ll always be there to support me, despite the location. But if you are incapable of helping me to navigate my ship, then I will sail the Seven Seas on my own, and make my way through the calamity and the inclemency by myself. I can survive the storm without you, but I shouldn’t have to. We may be on separate ships, but we don’t have to drift away. Please, don’t drift away.


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