How to Look Convincingly, Unflinchingly, Indifferent (So No One Knows How You Really Feel)

I hate the way some like to say,

"Man high school was some bullshit!"

Like, "I never learned anything useful!"

Because, yeah, maybe high school was like,

ninety percent a waste of my time,

but, still--

 

There are some things I learned in high school like:

faggot, bitch, loser, nerd--

dyke!

 

And how to study hard and try my best

(syke!)

Like how to cheat and cram every test

(right?)

 

Secondly, I learned to function without rest

and exactly how not to hoard stress!

or covet control

Waiting beneath burned bridges,

charging tolls

Like, goddamn, have I always been this

con-troll-ing?

 

Another skill added to my repertoire

is how to never fall for the girls

who can play guitar

And how to cry myself to sleep

in thirty minutes or less

And how to hate how I look

regardless of how I dress

 

Never learned how to pay a bill

or cash a check

But definitely learned how to lie convincingly

pretend I'm sick

In order to shirk responsibility

Have I spotted passive aggression?

Or am I detecting a little hostility?

 

Thirdly, or whatever number it is that we've reached

I learned how to never practice whatever I preach

Got myself straight A's in hypocrisy

Without high school where would I even be?

It's the place that taught me how to be where I'm not

‘Cause skipping classes was the pre-req

for starting smoking the pot

And it's not like my brain

wasn't already beginning to rot,

So instead of "just say no,"

Let's all just say, "why not?"

 

Another thing I should definitely mention,

Is there's probably, almost always a way

to get an extension.

On any hairstyle, deadline, due date,

or pregnancy scare,

Hell, I graduated high school

and I was barely there!

Oh did I forget to mention that life isn't fair?

 

I'd cry about it,

but high school taught me not to

I'd get high about it,

Cause highschool taught me that, true.

I'd lie about it,

but it would be so see through

So instead I'll try to doubt it

and begin life new--

 

Just as soon as I finish dwelling

on how I dwelt

on every single feeling

my heart ever felt

And how every single feeling

felt like the first time

And how the first time I had sex

felt like the worst time

 

Another great thing

high school teaches

is how to dodge and/or catch

emotional leeches

Oh, and,

How to gossip and

get away with it

And how to miss class

and make a day of it

Or,

how to grow up

and lose your way a bit

 

And it's unfortunate

that what I learned last

Is how as we age

time passes remarkably fast

 

Then before you know it

--wait!

 

There are actually quite a few more

of things I know now

I didn't before

But most importantly--

Oh geeze, how'd I forget?

Is how to graduate and go directly into debt!

 

So maybe for me it ends

with lessons learned

Or maybe for me it ends

with bridges burned

 

And maybe it didn't teach me my ABCs

but it definitely taught me how to catch all my Z's

No matter the surface, temperature, or light

and how learning has little to do

with how bright

but instead, with how quickly

we learn to adapt

to a prison that feels like it's under attack

 

And--

 

I'd love to fight back about it,

but high school taught me not to.

So instead I’ll forget about it

‘Cause highschool taught me that, too.

This poem is about: 
Me
My community
My country

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