I hate the way some like to say,
"Man high school was some bullshit!"
Like, "I never learned anything useful!"
Because, yeah, maybe high school was like,
ninety percent a waste of my time,
There are some things I learned in high school like:
faggot, bitch, loser, nerd--
And how to study hard and try my best
Like how to cheat and cram every test
Secondly, I learned to function without rest
and exactly how not to hoard stress!
or covet control
Waiting beneath burned bridges,
Like, goddamn, have I always been this
Another skill added to my repertoire
is how to never fall for the girls
who can play guitar
And how to cry myself to sleep
in thirty minutes or less
And how to hate how I look
regardless of how I dress
Never learned how to pay a bill
or cash a check
But definitely learned how to lie convincingly
pretend I'm sick
In order to shirk responsibility
Have I spotted passive aggression?
Or am I detecting a little hostility?
Thirdly, or whatever number it is that we've reached
I learned how to never practice whatever I preach
Got myself straight A's in hypocrisy
Without high school where would I even be?
It's the place that taught me how to be where I'm not
‘Cause skipping classes was the pre-req
for starting smoking the pot
And it's not like my brain
wasn't already beginning to rot,
So instead of "just say no,"
Let's all just say, "why not?"
Another thing I should definitely mention,
Is there's probably, almost always a way
to get an extension.
On any hairstyle, deadline, due date,
or pregnancy scare,
Hell, I graduated high school
and I was barely there!
Oh did I forget to mention that life isn't fair?
I'd cry about it,
but high school taught me not to
I'd get high about it,
Cause highschool taught me that, true.
I'd lie about it,
but it would be so see through
So instead I'll try to doubt it
and begin life new--
Just as soon as I finish dwelling
on how I dwelt
on every single feeling
my heart ever felt
And how every single feeling
felt like the first time
And how the first time I had sex
felt like the worst time
Another great thing
high school teaches
is how to dodge and/or catch
How to gossip and
get away with it
And how to miss class
and make a day of it
how to grow up
and lose your way a bit
And it's unfortunate
that what I learned last
Is how as we age
time passes remarkably fast
Then before you know it
There are actually quite a few more
of things I know now
I didn't before
But most importantly--
Oh geeze, how'd I forget?
Is how to graduate and go directly into debt!
So maybe for me it ends
with lessons learned
Or maybe for me it ends
with bridges burned
And maybe it didn't teach me my ABCs
but it definitely taught me how to catch all my Z's
No matter the surface, temperature, or light
and how learning has little to do
with how bright
but instead, with how quickly
we learn to adapt
to a prison that feels like it's under attack
I'd love to fight back about it,
but high school taught me not to.
So instead I’ll forget about it
‘Cause highschool taught me that, too.