How to Destroy Sanity

The beginning is simple; start by deciding how little you care. This sanity of mine cannot be worth the effort of living, though it becomes unclear how to live without it. There is so much to worry about, to fill up your mind with, yet somehow, despite it all, a select few figure out how to clear everything from the slate of consciousness. Forget your obligations, your commitments. Tell them you are too busy, too tired. Sleep in too late and miss everything you were looking forward to, purely because you decided it was all too much effort. Wave goodbye to your friends, all the while knowing that you will not be calling them that afternoon as you had promised. Be alone as much as possible. Fall into situations that tangle around your limbs and hold tight. Merely decide to give up. Try the strange, odorous drug in the dark corner with those who used to frighten you. Forget to smile. Ignore your loved ones. You know they are there to help, but you simply must find that matted blanket covered in vomit from the night before. Choose not to assist, but to complain. Nothing is as trying as your feeble, ever-shrinking mind makes it out to be, but there is another cigarette to be smoked, and putting gas in the car requires far too much energy. Refuse to go to class. Don’t shower today. Hang up the phone on your grandmother, because the skeletally thin man has extended his smoking hand to you, and it’s been a couple hours. Truly irresistible are nights with no breath, and the days without sunlight. You’re fired. You drop out. Lose all contact with the sweet girl from freshman year English, because she decided to be something more. Forget what it’s like to be young. Give away your sanity. 

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