Let me just start
With some words from my heart
OK
Here we go.

How can I
Be fixed,
When all I see around me
Makes me feel
Like I'm less?

When labels are put in quotes
And "it's all in your head"
When tears stain my clothes
And "why aren't you out of bed"
Are the questions they ask.

Do they even see
Who I am besides this?
Do they think that their sins
Will be missed?

On that day, so far away,
We'll ALL be exposed.
So, miss high-and-mighty,
How far will you go?

And how can I
Stop praying to die
When all around me
People tell me to fly?

"It gets better", they say.
Well, how would you know?
You just struggled with
The stuff in the flow!

My struggles are made worse,
Carrying more shame than yours.
Lying doesn't matter,
Against being a Dyke,
Against feeling like I'm not right,
Against the punishment I face,
For having thoughts
And desires through" lace ".

How can I
Stop feeling like I
Am just looking through lattice
Iron, stone cold bars?

How can I
Stop watching every thought,
Remembering her,
Who still beats in my heart?

No wonder I pray,
" Lord, just take me away... "
Is this agony not enough?

Apparently not.
I'm still viewed as
More broken than
You.

How can I
Find a mentor to help,
When all around me
Honesty is quelled?

No, nobody understands.
Nobody who's not already "fixed".
Well guess what??

I can't.

I can't stop hating myself.
I can't be fixed.
I can't come to terms
With this issue; I want to quit!

To quit on life,
To REALLY fly away,
To never return...
Not to this heartache and pain.

How can I

Start learning to fly

Stuck where I am?

Stuck... As who I am?