Have you ever been in a hot springs?
Up here, the air is frigid
and the water, scalding.
You can imagine how that experience goes.
My best friend, Jesebel, ate a blowfish once.
I said to her
"If that were true;
you'd have a big belly with spikes."
and she never talked to me again.
There's a certain finesse to understanding the ladies.
My momma always told me
"There're no girls and no women, only ladies."
Anyway, in the hot springs
sometimes, I'd dip my hair in the water
and voilet! popsicles!
I worked there as a cook, where I met the most wondrous crowd,
we drank the nights into the morning,
smoking ourselves to sleep.
And when we rose, we'd do it again.
My momma also once told me
"Everything in moderation, including moderation."
Back then I'd scoff and wonder what she knew.
That winter I made more money than ever,
and I threw it all away on booze and smokes.
In grade school I had my first girlfriend, Megan,
and she was the prettiest redhead tomboy I've ever met…
I gave her a ring I got from one of those coin-operated toy dispensers at Pizza Hut,
and she gambled it away in a game of Texas hold 'em.
Wasn't I supposed to do that?
In the fifth grade I decided we were getting too serious, and I needed my space.
Sometimes when the water is too hot, I'll jump out if only for a minute, then dip myself back in the boiling springs.