I don’t feel it.

The sensation one feels when they laugh, the inclusiveness of pure and true joy that friends are expected to have

I don’t feel it. 

The ease of their smile, the genuine warmth of those I surround.

I can’t find it. 

The home I seek, the one that looks out, the one I need.

I find myself out of place, under a roof that feels so strange. 

Yet here I am still trying to prove, that maybe it's not true, 

That this feeling I seek Il be able to find, that my place might be here, That I just need to give it some time.

I can’t see it. 

The future that everyone looks forward to, the continuation of life and all that I’m expected to have. 

I've focused so much time on what I don’t feel, what I can’t find, what I can’t see and as much as I try,

I will not force it! 

Home is where I am happy, where I can be myself and content without pretentious tales, where I trust my smile because it is for me and not to please those around, where I don’t need constant reassurance that I'm in the right place because I don’t fit or have bad taste. 

And now I see that I was here all along, 

I, am home.