I blasted my headphones hopping I could escape.
Confined by the walls that was made to fit 2 ending up in an addition of the 6 of us.
Stress and overwhelmed from the world that remained.
The purpose of sacrifice and to survive through a strain.
When the tears fill the tub draining in silence as I listen to the chaos that was behind my door.
Wanting to take a risk and explore.
No one had time to listen to the pain I hold in my heart that I walk around with such angry because you couldn't see.
That I was the reason for you always blaming me.
I went to school sometimes I wish I could just stay.
Best for me to be around people who always had something nice to say then being yelled at and abused.
That they loved me but they created such whoops in the words they said that permanently impacted me.
Having both parents in a household doesn't always make the perfect fit.
I was the oldest and I felt as if I was the start of all of this .
My brothers looked up to me as I looked down at myself.
In a home that I couldn't find peace within myself.
All the places I remember all the aches I once had to feel in my bed at night sometimes thinking was I ready for the day that creeps up from behind .
I'm buried in the secret and the past and the misunderstood truth.
To be at a placed for protective but they didn't know the harm they have truly done to an emotional Girl like me .More issues that palled at my doorstep to be caved in with all the must haves not thinking of any wishes .
To belong somewhere that doesn't seem to except me .
The HOME ..
That place that never understands me ....