Every road i went down with you

I turned down the wrong street

And every path we crossed together                                                                             

I thought was harming myself

You may not know but I struggled

With everyone asking me why do you still talk to her? 

Those late night runs to your house to see you

Drink hot chocolate

Decorate the christmas tree

Watch movies

Laugh on the floor with a tub of ice cream

Drink root beer and tell bad jokes

The bike rides and cross word puzzles 

The songs we wrote and boys we KILLED for one another every time they'd turn our backs on us and hurt us

When they'd ask i'd tell them that

But in the long run

After i burnt the paths and covered up the roads

I realized I was smiling

Protected

Confident

Energetic

And

Happy

Every second i was with you

What am i now

 

Vulnerable

Self conscious

Unmotivated

And 

Sad

 

I hope one day we can start a new path

Every time you laugh at my joke or wave hello

I wish I could be at dinner with your family again

Because you were home.