hold your breath

Tue, 03/15/2016 - 12:50 -- carosel

I find myself reaching to find my pulse

searching for the steady sign 

that I am still alive 


Fingers pressed down on wrists

digging through the flesh and bones that knit me together

until I find the beat

it speeds up and slows down like a child learning how to ride a bike- unsteady

an unseen puppet master holds my heart in their hands


it becomes a habit

over and over again

pressing down on veins- proving to myself this isn't a dream 

it isn't a joke

im here for a reason 

i check as often and as constant as the chewing of my nails 


I listen to the blood pumping in my ears 

insisting I am alive 


resting my head against your chest in the middle of the night 

I slowly make my way through the maze that holds you in a beautiful mystery 

until I am lulled to sleep to the steady pulse of your veins 

breath becomes one

This poem is about: 


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