Him

I love him,
I love him so much.
I am willing to go against all odds to keep us together.
I want us to be a family.
I try my hardest.
But he puts no effort,
I'm not worth wasting gas, spending time, or a stupid video game.
Nor is our son
I wish I didn't cry so much,
I wish I didn't care
I wish I didn't love him
I want these emotions to just go away.
How many times can I be stupid, for a love that doesn't even exist equally?
I fear being alone forever
I just want to be with him forever
So childish
So pitiful
I am so blind and stupid
I have to stop this
Stop tormenting myself over someone who doesn't care about me enough to be here with me
It is so hard to be strong, it is so hard not to pretend that we can be a family and be happy
I hate this hope
I hate this loneliness
The tears keep running even though
I keep telling myself
"Shannon stop crying"
I can't stop crying, I hate it
So many tears
So much pain
He isn't even worth it
He isn't even worth it
He isn't even worth it
How much I hate him
How I know hating him isn't right
How much I hate his family
I can't help it
I hate him, but I love him
I hate him because I love him so much
This isn't a typical teen relationship.
This is about my life, my future, my family.
I just want to be strong and let this heartache go.
I just want to go to sleep

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