Hi, my name is Kai and I am gender-fluid.
Well, that's not what my birth certificate says
But it's who I am nowadays.
I enjoy living in my own fantasies.
A place in my mind where I can be anything.
One moment a guy, the next a chick, or maybe a mix.
I just can't seem to choose, sorry.
I could wake up and desire girly things
Like a cute blouse, a dress or a few sparkly rings.
I could wake up and despise the body features that define me.
Avoiding mirrors.
Correcting people.
Just wishing for things
Like a flat chest, muscle tees
Shorter hair, and my jaw squared.
I may try to show neither gender.
Just be bundledd up in my grey sweater
Or somehow mix things and show both. However,
It can be really hard.
I use to have some trouble coming out.
I soon realized that the only person stopping me
Was no other than myself and the fear I had of not being able to achieve the person I was meant to be.
And yes, I was scared of the insults and haters that'd come around
But neither you or I should have a reason to fear being proud
And realizing that opened the doors for me to come out.
Now I have this great group of friends.
They've worked hard to reprogram their minds
To change my name to Kai
Because Kai isn't just a name.
It's a three lettered word that makes me forget the old days.
It's the word that brings my internal war to peace.
The word that lets me be who I'm meant to be
And I'll forever be in debt to all those people who call me Kai
Because to me they'll always be like family,
That family who actually stood by my side to support me.
And yeah there are still many who aren't aware of my gender
But hey, that's okay
Because I won't give up today,
I didn't give up back then when I was told I couldn't be gay.
And I would rather starve to death than know I gave up in my future days.
Now whether that's you,
The person next to you,
The one who's in front, behind, underneath or above you.
Whether it's your dearest friend
Or that one person you passionately hate,
There are more like them
And just knowing I am not alone has given me the courage,
To want to help out others who are stuck in an endless loop of discourage.
For every place I go,
I will always start with these same words,
Saying it loud and proud for every human,
Hi, my name is Kai and I am gender-fluid.