Slight pounding in my temples.

Cold breeze through my sweater.

Spinning, Dizzying merry-go-round.

That is my here and now.

 

Desire for our next event.

Pain in my heart from being shunned.

The wrong kind of attention.

That is my here and now.

 

Never lasting companions.

Trying for more ending with less.

Wondering whether to blame my mom. 

This is my here and now.

 

Grey skies and lullabies.

Rusted metal and splintered benches. 

Provoking sharp jabs from every direction. 

That is my here and now. 

 

Doubt in myself.

Doubt in truth. 

Doubt in love and possibility.

That is my here and now. 

 

Prices made from a candy coated shell.

Drills pressed into down pillow hearts.

Wishing to be #2 instead of #3. 

That is my here and now.

 

Buying time by writing more. 

That is my here and now.

 

Jealousy over that boy's sweater.

That is my here and now.

Accidental laughter shared with a different group. 

That is my here and now.

 

Never to be shared again? 

That is my if and when...