Don’t know where this road goes 

But I know we’re growing apart 

Day by day 

I fell asleep with two sheets below me 

And I woke cold 

 

Don’t stop rubbing that thumbtack on my arm 

Watch my skin turn pale from the pain 

I Now burry my hands deep into these ripped jeans 

As my makeup drips to my lip

And I’m staring into a mirror that raised me poor 

 

It’s New Year’s Eve 

I’m on a couch wondering where I am 

Not nervous if my friends are still conscious 

I’m just focused on the beeps from the machine 

Telling me how fast the numbness is spreading 

 

I’m reading the bad news 

From the paper 

But it’s dated years ago 

And the headlines my birthday 

 

The papers these days are far too expensive 

The tuitions are far too heavy 

For a chance to start fresh 

Then return to the town 

Where the friends you cried for are back

 

Dreading that day when our parents can’t remember their first address

While the whole worlds staring into the window,

At the siblings wondering who should get that lamp 

Which illuminates the nighttime drama 

Because parents just want to die before their kids 

 

Sometimes these wishes reside with honesty 

And honestly sides with deep regrets 

But the world doesn’t help everyone at once 

We wait our turn 

And the help passed on just pushes the writer 

To sleep aside his pen and paper 

 

Everyone bailed on me now 

I can’t remember what happened three, two minutes ago

It’s an hour until midnight 

And I’m not going to have anyone to celebrate with

I’m saying I’m happy now

But I can’t find my cup

I ended up saying happy New Year with love in my heart 

I made my night alone

Without anyone’s help,

Maybe I won’t need help 

 

But I know these feelings will pass

I know I will collapse again 

Or find my self in a house alone

With kids running upstairs sipping their parent's wine 

As I take another painful sip of this can 

And all I will need is help 

 

Help me then,

Says the boy 

His time has come far too early 

But academics won’t teach him anything 

His minds far too spoiled with feathers and dried lips,

Cracking until his mirror does 

 

Clock says twelve 

I turn the camera around 

And no ones behind me 

No ones behind me 

 

Running down the street now,

Puddles full,

Shoes soaked,

Hair bouncing to the beat of my strokes 

The roads getting wider after every step 

But I’m running on the corner of the grass,

Trying to comprehend which way the cars are coming 

And where I would hide if the bad men see me

I’m trying to remember what number the house is 

I think it’s twenty-seven

But I’m at two hundred...

 

Driving myself to sleep 

With the heat on high and the windows wide 

I can’t feel a thing in my hand but I know the warmth is still there 

Some little skyscraper peeks through the forest line

In this town, I’ve known forever 

Remembering back when we snuck out 

And came back as the sun was waking up 

Climbing up those creaky stairs 

 

Coughing up two pills at once 

Then sleeping tight 

Pretending everyone else awake is asleep 

And everyone asleep is extinct 

So everything will be underwhelming 

 

I’m going to miss all of you 

When the time comes 

And I hope I change my mindset 

Because I’m never happy for longer than a night 

I want to find beauty in the cold floors 

I want to be seen as a man

I want to relive my youth already,

It’s not even over yet

If there’s so much pain now, 

What’s it going to be left behind when I reach happiness?

 

Help me,

Then