Hell on Earth
He had the ability to brighten my day with just one smile,
A contagious laugh he made worth while.
Within him I saw a fearless man with an amazing heart.
As my best friend, we shared a bond that made us inseperable,
Even more so the day he revealed that I was the love of his life.
I felt so lucky to have my best friend and lover by my side.
I never thought this bond would break,
so I took a step forward to start the future we wanted to create.
The plans for our future fell apart once I opened the door and lost my heart.
He took his life on a day, one would naturally celebrate,
by counting down the seconds to the New Year hour.
You and I would have celebrated another anniversary as we waited for the New Year to arrive.
The moment I found you, you were cold and blue.
As I failed to remove the noose in which you tied ever so tighlty,
I began to scream your name,
Convincing myself it were not true.
I lifted your body, hoping to hear you breathe,
but all I could hear were my piercing screams.
As I held you in my arms for the last time, I continued to ask you why,
Still to this day with no reply.
The day I realized that this is hell on earth,
is the day I lost every feeling but the feeling of hurt.
I can no longer look at your face, for it brings me an image I wish to erase.
I replay that morning over and over in my head, and wonder if I could have prevented your death. The day you died was a day I never imagined.
When you took your life, you took a part of my life with you, the part of me that was normal. I wish I was able to talk to you so I could be your reminder.
A reminder that I feel alone, abandoned, and betrayed. I will never be the same.
Guide that inspired this poem: