Heavy

The weight impregnated the idea of perceiving the devastatingly beautiful ballast at eye level
The ponderous mass remained drooped to my side unmoving as Arthur's Excalibur

My heart saged to the bottom of my diaphragm snatching each breath that was once effortless to inhale
My mind froze, riveting on the rising and falling of my chest attempting to return the pounding to a gentle pulsing
But the weight still remained

Child safety
I need arduous
I want that cap to remain glued to the bottle like a child wrapping their arms and legs on a mother's calf
I want the task tedious and almost impossible
I craved unscrewing that cap to be purposeless and therfore null
To believe getting it off shouldn't be done and the cap should hold all the contents securely and safely

Untroublesome, I passively revealed treasure
A slight pressure introduced an immense amount of round saviors singing a sweet melody
A tune so calming and inviting
Notes I would like to play

Why
Reasons ,to go, imbibe the soul of beautiful life clinging, desperately clinging, and keeping me stagnant
Reasons to stay are extinguished as the pain engulfs every memory and burns through every emotion I am willing to vainly indulge in
The flames rage, sending the unbearable agony towards my hand as a sea of red smothers me
I wield my arm up and see nothing more then a way out
A light at the end of a tunnel burying the sunlight in a charcoal darkness for 20 years
Where is my indecisive nature?
Why is a permanent decision only offering one choice
Why couldn't I say no