I’m being attacked!
You see the thing was that, I heard the voices, but I tried to ignore them.
But, I was too busy building a wall around my heart.
I had been hurt too many times.
And I wasn’t letting anyone in.
Because I was in pain.
People were drawing conclusions from insufficient funds.
And basing their arguments on unsound assumptions.
And I was lost and hurt.
So I mad a transaction,
I got myself some chains and attached myself to a bondage.
I Let the enemy get a foothold and I allowed him in.
To steal, kill, and destroy.
And that is just what he did.
He took it all, just like he promised.
My happiness, my freedom, my will to live.
So I sat there with a blade, just a normal shiv.
And the “freedom” that I sought was only momentarily.
Until the “rush” I so deeply desired was persecuted.
And hatred overflowed in my cup.
The blood ran down my arm.
I was so fixated on those promised lies.
But enough wasn’t enough.
I was dirty and worthless.
So I sold my body for nothing, because life was pointless.
No not to men in particular.
But pornography was right there, knocking on my door.
Like the hospitable person I strived to be.
I politely welcomed it in.
I allowed it to consume me.
And I ended not knowing anymore who “me” really is.
I was so lost, wandering in the confusion of self-hate and thoughts of homosexuality.
All because the bullies never stopped.
And the verbal abuse was at an all time high.
The enemy never seized and in these things is were I found my peace.
Thats what I’m getting to next.
Do you hear that sound?
The sound of amazing grace, oh how sweet the sound.
That took me from nothing and made me a something.
Took my fifty rag a threw it away.
And I was white, and all of these feelings were right.
I now, I am his bride and He is my groom.
The Lord saved me and made me new.
So now I study His word and I can only hope to persuade.
The kingdom is ours, we are no longer slaves.
I cite His word for all to know.
I establish a purpose.
I pray that all will go.
Go seek Him.
Ask for His glory.
But, it isn't a one time thing.
Don't carry the Christian card and fall out of place.
Because I did and once you do that all you feel is self-hate.
He loves you with all He has, giving up His only son so we could be free.
Please I beg do not walk around with pride.
When people see you don't let them see a double sided argument.
Pray His light will shine.
Let His light blind you of your past because you are forgiven and free at last.
I am made new.