happy
people always ask
“what do you want to be?”
“what do you want to be when you grow up?”
Nurses, architects, teachers, and politicians
Everyone lists a job
Everyone always lists a job
i don’t know what i’m going to do for work
hell i barely know what I’m interested in
but i do know i will be happy
all want to be is happy when i grow up
i spend my days angry and frustrated at myself
i spend my days feeling absolutely nothing
synapses firing and feeling as if they don’t land
like there are disconnects
between what i want and what i can do
like there’s contestant static
distracting my brain from my goal
whenever i try to read or write or do anything
all I’m met with is inability
i get lost in the words and don’t understand a thing
i get lost in my mind and can’t form a sentence
i get lost and i can’t get up
i get lost and i stare at a screen
no idea what to do
even though i have an exact goal in mind
i want to scream but it catches in my throat
every damn time it catches
i can’t even scream in frustration
everyone sees this put together introvert
when in truth all i am in a shell
a shell of a person just yearning to be happy