We were the best of friends.
Just barely the age of six.
We knew each other ever since we learned how to add with our fingers.
We became friends because I thought fate willed us to see eachother again.
Yet, at the time, we were both young,
We didn't know what pain was.
Life taught me what pain was like.
And it was the most dreadful thing I have ever exprienced.
We were the age of twelve.
What was pain?
I never knew how to cope with it.
But I still fought it alone.
Who am I?
I thought I was worthless,
The pain was always too much for me to bear.
Yet, I still fought it alone.
We were the age of sixteen.
We went to the same high school.
We talked even more and more.
I still struggled through the same pain.
I've dated few people in my life, yet they've failed to make my heart thunder in my chest like every single time I talk to you.
Then, all of a sudden, we became close.
You told me that you suffered in your early years of high school because your life was getting too much for you.
Why did you open up to me?
It was like instinct.
I wanted to make you smile.
I wanted you to laugh.
I wanted you to be happy.
You thought of yourself and hated your insecurties.
Yet, I thought you were perfect.
You are perfect.
You are so much bigger than the world I wanted.
There was one question that I dared to ask myself that engraved into my heart,
Do I love you?
Did fate tie the red sting around our hearts?
My days would always brighten when you just hello to me.
I loved how your eyes brightened when you wanted to tell me something of your passions.
Even when I found it boring,
or even when I didn't even know what you were talking about,
I still listened.
However, I felt the red string sever when I saw you talking to her.
She was a classmate.
She was kind,
You would always have such a large grin or fluster so much when you were around her.
I couldn't bring myself to hate her.
She made you so happy.
I was never at the best at conversations and she was always so bright.
The pain just intensified.
But you were happy.
That was what I wanted right?
I would watch in a distance as you talked with her.
I wanted to make you smile like that but I knew I could never.
You told me you liked her.
My heart shattered but I played the act of excitement.
You told me that you were hesitant about your feelings,
I won't push you.
But, I will support you.
If you are ready to ask her to be yours,
I will be there to cheer you on.
No matter what, I will always want you to be happy.
This is how I found out about myself.
Friendship is the strongest when one values the other's happiness over their own.
I value your happiness over mine.
I still want to stay as your best friend.