Growth and Loss

Missing person

5’9”, blonde hair, green eyes

She's lost and under heavy disguise

No, it's not her makeup or her lashes

This feeling, it comes in flashes

She's a very happy girl, that's not a lie

But there's something hidden

Deep below, she won't deny

It, I am never home

Whether work, with friends, or just driving around

I don't like to be home because I hear the sound

Of my parents fighting

Silence, sighs, the TV’s loud - on 24

Nights are long, my dad snores

I haven't spoken to my father in months

Who lives within a couple of feet

I tell myself it's our schedules,

Always opposites - we never meet

He works nights, I’m awake during the days

But in reality we just don't clique, we don't have much to say

It feels forced, like two friends who've matured

Who give uncomfortable smiles

Awkward and unbearable - when they run into each other

It’s not the same look shared between a daughter and a mother

It feels obligated, almost mandatory

This is growing up, in all its glory

 

Passion is lost, I no longer paint

It's not really a huge complaint

Things have changed, I have grown

I have this odd feeling, never wanting to be alone

I wish I had something to blame

For why I feel this way

Some trauma, some accident

Some sort of treacherous event

To explain my lack of interest, exhausted enthusiasm

Let me remind you though, it's not that I am hateful

Of my life, I am beyond happy and grateful

I have my friends, my job, I'm always busy

But I can't help to think that I need to stay occupied

In order to fill up an emptiness that's growing inside

 

They tell me it's just puberty - the loss and the growth

Things are changing inside of me, including these both

This isn't meant to be sob story or a plea

This is just growing up, as me

 

This poem is about: 
Me
My family

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