What we wanted to be so badly as a child

Has slowly become reality

What we yearned for with our friends,

Creeped up on us without warning 

I, was 5 small and blind to the world and life

Wanted a chance to be bigger, better, and older 

Grown

With a wife and kids of my own

With a big house, a fast car, and a fun life

Filled with excitement

And the daydreaming got so big

That I ignored the excitement in my own childhood life

The trips to the park, the fear of the neighbors dog and it's bark

The little things I enjoy now

I took for granted back then

If I could re-live that life I would

But we all know we can't 

It doesn't work like that

The worst part is that I'm pretty sure I had childhood

I'm pretty sure I had fun times with mom and with dad

But for some strange reason it's all forgotten

All I remeber are the days that were really rotten

Patches and spots of memories fill my head

Of times when everything was much simpler

Of times when dead just meant we had lost a game

A time when a simple belt from mom was used to tame

Me

17 a young number to some

But honestly I feel displeased

Cheated

Robbed of fun times

And forced into worse ones

Forced to learn boring things

Forced to be labeled

Forced to go on my own, and forced, to walk alone

All I wanted to do when I was little was grow up

And now that i'm here, growing up is what I fear

Can I follow through with my dreams?

Mom says I can, the teachers say I can

But to be honest, it doesn't matter what they say

Because I sure don't feel that way

I don't feel confident about my future

Or even my current life

Should I even continue to fight

I guess I should 

To make my childhood self happy

To finally set things right